Things You Shouldn't Have Said to a Chubby Girl

Young Abigail Breslin in Little Miss Sunshine

Last couple of month, I had a visit from a distant relative.  A little sweet girl named Amel, 10 years old and her family.  They came to Palembang for medical purpose.  I enjoyed talking to them.  I talked about my life in Kuala Lumpur and other activities I took, like the gym and the kickboxing Muay Thai class.  At a point, Amel's parent looked at her and began to scrutinize.

"See, auntie (the mom was referring to me) Amel is so fat.  What makes her stop gaining weight?"

It was not only a hard slap at Amel's face but to my face as well.  Because I was Amel

... or in fact I am still Amel.  Only I am an adult, slightly heavy.  Only I am in better shape than I used to, and I have came slowly to the acceptance of my body from a long long walk.

It was not only Amel.  But my youngest cousin was told to stop eating cheese pizza--it is a cheese pizza, dammit--because her father think it was fattening.

Can't you see what is wrong with it?

First of all, it is not that I am against healthy eating habit.  I strongly support it.  Though I still struggle to stop my midnight snacking habits.  However parents or older guardian seemed to fail when it comes to seeing the impact of what they have said.

As a girl, I grow up with a beauty role model.  (She was that cute Close-up female model with shoulder-length hair with a nice bright smile, which I now believe, she is a filipina because a resemblance of the Asian, not so Asian look... a Pan Asian)

Anyway, I believe that all girl grows up to be pretty and the greatest compliment you can give to a girl is, "you are beautiful."  I am not naive.  Regardless of their genders, all human want to be told that they are good-looking.  It is not being naive or shallow, but I am telling the ugly truth that looks and appearance are the 1st impression how the other people would react around them. Thus there is a standard that people needs to conform.

So, for these innocent little girls who are still fragile and childish, everyword that the parents or older guardians gave have a huge impact to them.  Children have a submissive culture somehow and they easily imitate or believe in what they see and hear.  Some words can lead to insecurity and lack of self confidence at early age, which is bad because as kids they do not need to worry about things that adults should.  They are at their best metabolism, and as soon as they hit puberty, there will be slight or drastic adjustment of their physique.  Of course to receive optimum growth, they need to have a good nutrition.

So, parents' role is not to call-off their kids about their preferred diet.  But neither letting your kids have whatever they like to.  I am not a parent, but I am a young adult old enough to know that unguided or unwatched diet and lack of physical activity will not only damage your health slowly but your mental.

When I was a young, no one have taught me to put on a habit of doing sports.  Though the male in my family, father and brother, are active, physically, but not with the female.  My parents spoiled me with amount of junk food and snack which tasted good but were bad not that I knew it. I was so uninterested to do sports.  Maybe it was my then physique that discouraged me to do so. But earlier this year, I signed up for a gym and I enjoyed it.  My motivation to join the gym is none other than taking care of myself.  I also read an article that write about 10 habits of happiness.  I have ticked some of the habitual activity but not for working out regularly.  I also begin to understand the importance of our body.  We are going to be here for a long time, I supposed, so why do not we respect what God has given us by eating well and doing regular fitness activity.  Of course, my body is still far from what the society calls "okay"... but at least I am okay with my figure and I refuse to hate what I have. I will be continuing to respect my body by doing so.

So what parents should do is... to cultivate a healthy eating habit and regular exercise to their kids.  Make it fun.  Though, it is alright to treat them McDonalds, Pizza Hut, Dairy Queen once in a while.  But try to avoid stocking up fast food items on your fridge.  What about if your kids is a picky eater?  There are dozens of creative recipes online in Pinterest you can follow. D'oh.  There must be an alternative.  Make an effort to spare time to prepare a hearty meal and have fun. Although we cannot supervise what the kids put into their stomach on daily basis, probably their friends let them have that piece of chocolate and chicken wings or the hawker sells nearby the gate of their school--hawker foodseller for Indonesian or Asian countries in particular, but probably in the Western countries it could be an ice cream truck(?)

But please, never fat-shaming your kids... Sometimes we start a bully without even realizing it.

You go, girl....