(Not) A Love Poem

It is not I am shutting the door for you
If I am, then it is better be
Because I am merciless enough to keep you around without any promise
It is like having a steady gun but not knowing when to pull the trigger
I might fire any second
And it is going to hurt either way

(Out of courtesy I would like to say)
I am sorry that my heart is still in the air, floating
In a journey
Fulfilling quirky fantasies I dreamt
Chasing romantic union that were no longer chaste

(If this would make you feel better you have to know that)
By the time I am turning 40
I will be the one in misery
I will regret my choice to only letting the door open
Instead of welcoming you in like the other guests before
But I know for sure
That a woman will let you fill hours or years on whichever tiny corners and open spaces inside her gated house
And those beautiful kids with your round eyes, will start to call you "father"

(So)
Maybe it is best for you to stay behind the fence
This space is not meant for you
This is a wreckful mess of question marks and loud doubts scattered
The kind that I build not to irritate anyone but you will eventually

This is a magnet pole
A circus of personalities and exotic greetings
Of be good or be gone

My wish is none other than to find the one that could fight miles for me

The prayer was answered
When you were inside a cab
Heading to a coffee shop minutes to midnight

I could be wrong about this
But why was I feeling like a red handed murderer
Not as a friend who asked for a hearty listening?