A Letter to September

Dear September,

We meet again at last.  In between blank pages.  Where what separates us are the screen and my fond fantasy.  September, whenever I remember you my face turned to blush.  Now, you are in front of me with your brunette lock that grows above your shoulder.  I never thought that you can grow a wavy hair.  I miss seeing the depth of your eyes. They always tell me a story.

September, I am glad to speak to you again.  There is a saying that something left unsaid will haunt you.   You have been always the one without mention in my history.  Nobody knows of your existence but I do.

September, I have grown up.  Finally, you are not my only sole universe.  I do not mean to make you jealous, but there was a man who slept on your side of the bed.  It was a moment when I conquer fear of mine and other women's.  It was the moment I felt untouchable, because there was nothing came close than the worst.  To be hurt when you most expect it.  And somehow you feel safe because you were not expecting further.

You have to know.  I have been drunk on good and cheap wine. I have been traveling to some countries.  I have been writing and reading my poetry.  I have been happy and confused at the same time about our own big universe.  I have been growing question in my head.  I read books that you love which I used to find it hard to follow.  I found struggle and pleasure in meditation. Somehow, I know what it likes to be you.  Peaceful.

How about you, September?   I am sure you are doing a lot more too.

I have been letting go my expectation.  That someday you will come.  Maybe you do not have the short chestnut hair that I love.  Maybe brown is not the color of your eyes.  Maybe you are not 6 feet tall.  But I am sure none will be shorter than my heights.  I will embrace you for what you are.  No matter what tongue you speak.  Though my English tongue is still tainted by bewildered accent.  You may be a cool father of one like you are now.  No matter what you are, you are forever young to me.  Like the way you embrace me too.

I have been forgiving myself and accepting whatever flaws I have.  Including this crazy idea of you.  I am still wearing my faith.  Though you are not the only one I seek.  You are the one after Him for me.  Do you catch that? You are my second priority after God, My Spirituality in this quest.

I know you are doing great, September.  We will be busy on other things until we see each other. We will spend our normal times until then.  Until being madly in love.  Until we ask the Sun to stay away because we are good.  So good.  That we need the Sun to stay put.

With love and foremost,
Your woman.