A pre-letter (?)

Dear fellow TEDxUbud 2013 participants,

photo by TEDxUbud website

How are you feeling today? I mean to receive the email confirmation, it must tell us that we are so close to the event. I was receiving it behind my working desk, and in fact, I am  writing this behind the same working space and it is now passed office time. You see, I am just a fresh practitioner who works in a very demanding industry. I am talking about advertising. Below-the-line advertising. Without demeaning the industry itself, It (what I am doing) is nothing much and less exciting compared of other attendees have been accomplished. To have my name listed on the TEDxUbud 2013 Twitter list, and being called "wonderful" in the description box, honestly, it feels a bit too much for me. Because I don't feel like it.

Again, you have to know why I am writing this. It is not because of self-boasting for being chosen to attend this anticipated worldwide event, but I need to vent out of my nervousness. Imagine I have nothing but sudden, constant workload and then the next 3 days I need to head out to the airport and spend 3-hour flight to Denpasar. It is like a mental jet lag. Previously, I was worried if my half-day leave was not approved, but thankfully, it is now! But I really do hope, everyone is not going to make a big deal out of it. Out of me, who will be travelling for a 'seminar', or so-it-called as I talked my way out to my supervisor. Maybe, the curators wanted to back me up in here  hehe I hope.

I received the invitation in April, close to my birthday. Two days after receiving the invitation, I decided to buy it. But the 1st ticket, the one that is distributed to local attendant was sold out, then I think I have no chance to go, I was sad. But then I think, I needed to get out anyway on June 1st and 2nd. I do not want to go to my hometown because it is just going to be a plain, old weekend where I stuff myself with local foods. I do not want to gain weight. Like I need to get myself a break for that. My father suggested me to travel to his worktown, which is Pekanbaru, then I guess it is just my father and I alone in that city. I once visited Pekanbaru in the late 90s, it is just as closely boring as my hometown. So, I am doubtful on how this will excite me at the first glance. Then I thought, If I either to travel to Palembang or Pekanbaru, I would be bitting my finger and wished that I would be in Ubud, amongst the attendees of TEDx event. So I take my chance and go.

Regarding the invitation, it was also surprising to me being amongst the one that are invited. As I wrote through the form, I realized that I have lack of experience. I was listing down the project I did in college, and filling out my professional status, but I mentioned that I love to write. I mentioned that I managed my non-reputable (this) blog and my blog post in The Jakarta Globe which are the posts that I am proud of but also, attract negative comments too (... but like, whatever.... ) I have also told my story about my personal struggle after graduation. A never ending 20s story. I remember I was filling out the form from my Blackberry. Usually, I have never felt so good about typing anywhere but in my laptop. But I gave up my exception.

I hope that I can share a mission. That is to speak loud out of my passion. To trigger myself by meeting and sharing stories. The theme of the event is (Un)Common Ground, and believe me I am just ordinary. I have many insecurities. That is why I need this, to give myself a fresh air out of this crowded cubicle. To take command for myself and not others. To actualize myself of what I am truly. I really wish that I could attend TEDxJakarta which had a theme of 'generation anxious' on last April but I haven't heard of it since the event ended. I have never been attending TED or TEDx event before but I believe it will be equally awesome.

Meanwhile, I am going to prepare myself, starting to tell my colleagues to do a good job until Friday afternoon, because no one is stopping me from going to TEDx. No one is taking this thrill out of me.

So, see you there,

Ayu