On Dating and Finding a Match

It bothers me when a friend makes comment like, "Why do you want to see that guy" or "Girl, what's up with this freak parade you are seeing."

I have to admit that I have a late awakening on romantic pursuit, although I am actually a dreamer and a hopeless romantic. I did not have a boyfriend when I was in high school. A friend pitied me for not being able to be all-freaky during college. I guess that was not just my thing. However, when I started to live independently during my 20s, I finally knows what it feels like and I am starting to open up myself for a quest. Random quest, perhaps.

It must be strange for you to acknowledge on how slow I was. Even so, none of those dates result in romantic involvement. It always differently from the way I imagined. It is not that I am sad about it. It sucks, but I am glad that I am never be in for a long haul with a wrong guy.

Of course, I keep on thinking why it fails sometimes. It got me repeat the bridge Missy Higgins sings on her song, Scars

I think I realized just in time, although my old self was hard to find

You can bathe me in your finest wine but I'll never give you mine

'Cos I'm a little bit tired of fearing that I'll be the bad fruit nobody buys

Tell me, did you think we'd all dream the same?

Well, do not consider this for the couples, cos' they have it sorted... but for the single, I kinda experience the same fear of rejection and being the items on the spoiled box because of my principle and ideal. Sometimes, maybe I figure I need to compromise a little and tone the personality down to fit into the category of "average girl guys date".  By the meaning of my average -- It is those city girls who appears with fleeked eyebrows, handbags, tunic tops and just all smile and sometimes with on point styled hair.

I do believe that there is a traditional saying in my culture that good girl ends up with good boy and otherwise. I interpret it as they way you will meet a person who is not that different than you and also has the same quirk.

I guess, my friend is wrong about what she called "a freaky parade" that I was seeing. I am just attracted to boys with quirks and run his own things. I am not easily attracted to a man who only focuses on gaining financial wealth only. Not so into those twentysomethings who surrender to corporate life as Management Trainee who probably grow up to be father who works 9 to 5, but has a little time to be  a family man because he is technically a machine to his boss. Sure, their job sounds promising and they probably be the perfect son-in-law your mother wish to have because he will make you secured. But I'd rather go for the man who has a dream, quirks and aspiration to fulfil. A man with Plan B on his hand. A calmer mind with humor who is ready to ensemble when everything else collapse. A person who sees a glass half-full when everybody sees it half-empty.

Those who live to the fullest may mean a freak show to a friend, simply because she finds it hard to see something special and she is not the one to fall in love. Another woman's trash, another woman's treasure.

And as for me, I am waiting for the guy who dares to embrace my one and only universe with his hand. I am not going to compromise.