I'd prefer the water

I think I am too angry
So mad I forgot the feeling of missing you the way I used to
Now every conversation we have does not run like water
It is a raging tide
I am a sailor swimming lost in navigation, I cannot see the ocean-path ahead
I am sure of this long sail is full of bumps, waves and deadly sways
will not let us anchor
not until the moment we find a small flicker from the lighthouse
or a desserted island we are unfamiliar of

But Love
we both know this is melancholy
We know no lighthouse, no island
I am so ashamed at the weight I have carried onto this voyage
Anger
Hatred
Blame
I wish to scatter them all like a burn carcass
Because I cannot afford us, on fire
I'd prefer the water