Her : A personal review

I left the theater with swirling emotion tonight.  I was watching the movie, Her, afterwork, and so far, it is the movie that I have been waiting for.  It has a quality that 90s award-winning movie has.  A twist.

Directed and written by Spike Jonze, the man who also directs "Being John Malkovich" and "Adaptation" which stories are adapted from Charlie Kauffman's screenplays, which I am a hard fan of, the movie is brilliant and quirky.  Telling the story of Theodore Twombly who is having a relationship with his operating system, Samantha.  That is a very strong premise... and by reading it, I think I cannot see my laptop in the same way. Haha.

Everything about the movie falls perfectly.  The screenplay as well as the props, the wardrobe, and the mood.  The wardrobe!  The characters are often seen in sweater and framed glasses in nude color.  The men are always wearing high-waisted pants.  I think it redefines how futuristic fashion could be, which means enticing with the vintage.

I mean, there are so much too see and absorb in the movie that I cannot even begin to write about. There is so many things that I adore in the movie.  I think that Jonze is stealing my inside monologue and turning it into movie.  I can relate to the story, in the least and most way.

There is so much sympathy we can give to the main character, Theodore, as well as to ourself, our lonesome self...

I overheard the girl who sat next to me after show and she talked about some physic law that is used for the main frame of this movie.  Which is amazing, and yes, I guess so... The movie is absurd, complex and simple at the same time.  It possibly can happen in distant future.  Look how many people are having a relationship with their laptops, I mean how dependable we are to our gadget... like me. 

In a way, I was also glad that I watched this all by myself.  I was thinking to bring either one of the guys I am currently seeing (sounding like a stud now).  They are completely both opposite of each other.  Yes, I have been going through something that I cannot expect I will go through.  A beginning of womanhood.   Wading into the pool of love, although none has not come even close.  And Her,  is just a perfect movie to marvel about because it is so deep.  It communicates human desire and independence.  I am much more like Theodore, a kind of person that we thought we knew everything until we are put in certain situation where we have to learn again.  And I wholly embrace that.  Although things are not going the way we want but there is always a door and a way leading us to the right person, right relationship.  Though, right now what I am thinking is... how the hell should I go back from all these? I simply hate the feeling of wanting and infatuated.  Even when it is fulfilled, then I am growing into a clingy and needy person, a type of person I always hate to see and become.  Yet, I am now growing into that person.  I constantly have to remind myself that I am an educated woman who is independent and I can survive on my own.  I do not need anyone yet to make me feel better.



I used to not believing in intimacy in relationship.  Believe me, I used to be that sweet girl who thinks that two adults in a relationship are hardly engaged in intimacy.  I used to believe that relationship is all heart and  Intimacy is just a spice, supplementary to a relationship.  Without it, a relationship will survive, beside that the moral burden of seeing unwed couple having sexual intimacy is like a major cross for me.  I could not imagine myself doing that without my husband. I also heard stories from even the closest people in my life, of how they enjoy being engaged physically with their significant others, and in my head, it all sounds ridiculous and I simply don't understand, why?  because I still thought that couple can survive without being physical.... But now I learn that it is not like that.

It is simply a biological calling.  Therefore, I am now learning again to trust myself, especially when I am around the opposite sex.  When observing the opposite sex, I am a careless girl.  I am not the type who likes to flirt with any man.  If I know the guy is cute then I shall keep it to myself.  I am not that type of "cute guy alert", I am not that observant.  I am rather a young girl with low-confidence, which is such a shame, I mean I am in the perfect age where I should really discover, rather closing only one eye and embrace all the healthy features God has granted me in this age.  Maybe it sounds promiscuous for me to say this, but it would be more promiscuous if this statement was written by a 17 or 19 year old.  I am simply at the age.  What I need to do is take the leap and learn to be careful.  Of course I still do not wanna disappoint myself or even the loved ones, like my parents and family.

This has been a whirlwind of feeling.  One day I felt OK, one day I do not.

One more thing that I did in this weekend that has made me so proud is to confess to my crush.  I simply met this guy a year and a half ago.  Turned out we are from the same university, although he is much more senior than me, we were staying at the same housing area, our offices were close to each other... I really hope that this one worked out, but it turned out it was not.  So I ended up keeping feelings, and he carried on.  We rarely saw each other after I moved to the city. In some occasions, we would like to meet up and hang around with our mutual friends.  I checked how he was doing and chatted.  When the chances are good, sometimes I would meet him in a train station when I am heading back to home or heading to the office.  It is such a romantic story, a boy meets girl, in a train station.

... Now I cannot help but slowly feeling the break, watching these words added up as I am writing...

Last Monday, I met him again, it seemed like a perfect day to confess so I did.  I had been in this situation before but I did not confess, so seeing my previous crush with another girl is painful enough so I did not want that to happen twice.  Short story, he did not expect that coming from me, and boy he sounded so cute when he was clueless... but he told me that he could not date any friend.  Well, I can not force things to fall the way it is. Anyway expressing is more than enough.  He said that he would know a girl, when he feels a butterfly in a stomach, well that feeling sounds familiar to me.

Maybe I was scared, I was scared of losing a good guy and I need to be saved, in case of a bad guy who only wants to see me for his pleasure or maybe if I cannot trust myself.  I learn that relationship and finding the right person is hard... well, not that hard, but it takes effort.

Perfect relationship falls apart without no logic reason,  Theodore and Catherine fell apart.  Or Aimee and Charlie.

I used to think that, a guy will come to me and I shall wait on my throne.  Thanks for the advices of some matured female friends or family with orthodox Eastern thinking.  Thanks for prohibiting me for being not so promiscuous, thanks for letting me not trying, thanks for being such big sisters and protect me from hurting... because in the end, I need to walk far.

By all means, if he is walking towards my direction.  Then I shall walk toward his.  We will find each other at one point.

One thing I conclude... I have walked further then where I used to stand, so he is coming closer. We both are.

Anyway, for those who haven't watched Her, it is a good movie.... Joaquin Pheonix is a charming dude... y'all with all the mustache and sweater.