What's in love?


Author's note: I have given task this week to write 350 words over to describe someone that is falling in love. This is originally written in Indonesian and submitted to an editor. I'd like to share this universally, emotionally and creatively in English. Enjoy my darkest obsession, Earthlings.

What's love? They say that it is something attached to you. Love is your parents. Love is your best friends. Some reminds me that we bear the biggest love from God. I believe in that one certain attachment called love. I can feel they drift and tide into my life. And, I used to define the word that way, before I am eventually growing up and turning 20.

I have never been in love before. That is why I find it difficult to comprehend what all absurd-couples statuses and messages that my friends post in social networks mean. Gradually, I cannot help but loathe at them. They have made love lost its value. It is  made virtual, as the social network itself. Then, love fades.

For me, love is something that both of my parents have. Marriage by the age of twenty six-twenty seven. Fully-furnished double-story house and claimed own vehicles. First-born by the next year and the youngest children by the next two or three years.

That is what I find on him. Married by 23, and the first son by five years later. I am made to understand by and together with him.

And he often says to me that, would it have been nice if I were born 10 years earlier so that we would have met some years early in advance. In other way around, I wish that he would have been born 10 years later than he should be, so all of these would not be as awkward.

His name is Wade. Wade Adkins. He shares the surname of my favorite singer. His first name means "to go forth", mostly on the water. To be honest, I am growing tired to forth this feeling any longer.

On my arms, is the newest addition to the Adkins. Less than two-year old. Always, He admires me for being so motherly for my age. Always, I have been made to blush by that. Secretly, I am complaining about how irresponsible Mrs. Adkins is for leaving her child like this only for working sake. But again, secretly, I thank her. Even the tiniest voice inside me whispers that it would have been nice if we were to switch places.

The night was one of many nights I sit for Milo. The night before I left Brisbane for Jakarta. Our heart did not excuse to leave. But I continued to walk my steps further away from apartment 7A. Mine was only three doors away. Boxes, clothes and scattered items inside. As if my entire world has been taken by one quick storm. A close definition to the occupant's emotional state. The moment after I slid down onto the floor and leaned against the door, I heard the bark behind me knocked. I welcomed my guest.

Wade thumped my frame with his generous hug. I am swept to tears under his clench. Maybe it took twenty years to define and find what the word means. The moment his lips touched mine, I knew the feeling was not only skin-deep. This was beyond superficial. I waded deeper onto him. I swam then I sunk.

I understood the connection much better. He carried me by the waist and we were both laying down over the sofa cushion with our clothes half-lifted, half-exposed. The moment I felt that I am now the wiz of love. Those romantic statuses that my friend posted all over meant nothing but a tiny dust particle compared to what we were having. I was growing. I am growing up. Then I think, I have outgrown my parents. I exceeded them. So, for a moment I stopped and doubted. His musky scent still lingered on my lips. My cheeks were still blushing red.

But still, I chanted prayer for all-time sinners.

Maybe, this love is not getting married when turning twenty six-twenty seven. It is not about fully-furnished two stories house with claimed own vehicle. It is not getting children by the next one-two years.

I am the writer of my own story, who is seeking redemption from God's biggest affection and kind love.

Maybe--or, "sure" seems to be the right word.

I am sure that love means me, him and what we are having.


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