It is not the same thing

It is not the same thing

A note to insensitive friends

When I tell you, that I cannot forget
the harrowing minutes
when a man first touched me

I don't expect to hear :
"Darling, it is the same thing"

Because it is not

It is not the same like
Making love to your boyfriend
Because there was no significance

There was nothing mutual
but our hopeless desires
to touch

It was not the same because
he didn't worship my body
but he consumed it

He hated the way
my hair fell all over my face

He hated the way
I asked him to stop
so he pretended not to listen
He sat on the edge of the bed
grunting
acting as if I was obliged
to give him
what he wanted

Do not even try to compare
this violation

Darling,
it is never the same thing

This is a recovery
A process of acceptance
This is building something
from a ground, up
or
Stopping my hands
from working on
something that
isn't meant to be built